Friendships are so special to me....

As I sit and ponder over the events of this last few years, I am overwhelmed with the wonderful people God has brought into my life. These people are different in so many ways, yet with the same spirit. They love the Lord, so uniquely, so passionately; yet, they all do it so differently and so beautifully. I am drawn to each one of them for such different reasons (so many are so different than I am) and that is what is so spectacular to me! We still share the same God, one in Spirit.
I have been taught so many valuable lessons (some simple; some complex) by each of these friends. I am forever grateful for the laughter, tears, meals, joy, passion, prayer, road trips, and so much more that we have shared on countless occasions. I can honestly sit day after day and laugh out loud to myself thinking about our times together and what we have shared.
The very interesting thing about these friendships that are so very dear to me is the fact that I had been so "relationship-challenged" for the biggest part of my life, BUT GOD.... Isn't it funny how He can literally turn your world upside-down and bring the best of the best into it?? I love how He does that often and I know 'I' could have never done any of it on my own. I am always reminded to ask God for anything and everything....I asked Him boldy to bring me good, true frineds, and He was and is certainly faithful. He will give you the best of what you need.
I have found that I am not afraid to ask God for anything and then trusting that He will bring me EXACTLY what I need. I trust it will be in His time and His way and I am good with that too. He has proven faithful over and over, especially in the friendships that I am forever grateful for. If you are reading this, it is likely you are one of those friends. I do not have to name any names; you know who you are and I hope I never give up telling you just how special you are to me. I love you, my cherished friends.

Oaks of Righteousness

The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me.
He sent me to preach good news to the poor,
heal the heartbroken,
Announce freedom to all captives,
pardon all prisoners.
God sent me to announce the year of his grace—
a celebration of God's destruction of our enemies—
and to comfort all who mourn,
To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion,
give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,
Messages of joy instead of news of doom,
a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.
Rename them "Oaks of Righteousness"
planted by God to display his glory. -- Isaiah 61:1-3 MSG


When we accept Christ, we have a NEW identity. He no longer counts our sins against us; no matter what the sins were. He became sin so that you and I could have the righteousness of God in Christ!!! That IS the good news!! Pay attention here: this is a GIFT from God. What I want to ask you today is: will you receive it and will you walk in it?

Jesus's death on a wooden cross to the point of being beaten, crushed, and whipped is so that you and I can be healed. When Jesus looks at you, He sees what He accomplished for you on the cross with that one sacrifice and HE IS SATISFIED. Because of His sacrifice, Jesus made it possible for you and I to be counted righteous, for He bore all our sins.

I see righteousness as the greatest gift of love that God could ever give us because He did this while we did not deserve it. When He looks at you, He sees you as perfect because of your being righteous IN HIM. This is the exact reason you qualify for EVERY promised blessing of God. Now, what does your heart truly believe?

I believe the only way to truly live the abundant life that Christ died to give us is to get in agreement with God on every single thing in the Word and live it out. There are times that your feelings and your mind will lag behind, but your true worth is stated in the infallible Word of God, and that is what you have to stand on and receive as TRUTH. So many times we question His promise instead of just receiving it in faith.

Most importantly we have to 1. KNOW GOD and 2. KNOW WHO WE ARE IN CHRIST
We have to learn how to see ourselves not in ourselves but in Christ. He is the Living God living inside us as the Holy Spirit. We have to confront the devil and the enemy's tactics. We have to stand our ground and we do this by believing God and what He says about us. We have to constantly remember to 'renew our minds', like Romans 12:2 tells us. This simply means to get your thoughts back into agreement with God's Word. This comes from your personal relationship with Christ. We believe so much more of what we say to ourselves than what someone else says to us and being in His Word, so start speaking His Word out loud to yourself.

From Genesis to Revelation, God calls us to be bold and courageous, take new ground and exercise the authority He has given us. What are you waiting for? 'His Kingdom come, His will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven'...Why would we not want to live out the life He died to give us?

In Christ we have:

• A love that can never be fathomed.


• A life that can never die.


• A righteousness that can never be tarnished.


• A peace that can never be understood.


• A rest that can never be disturbed.


• A joy that can never be diminished.


• A hope that can never be disappointed.


• A glory that can never be clouded.


• A light that can never be darkened.


• A purity that can never be defiled.


• A beauty that can never be marred.


• A wisdom that can never be baffled.


• Resources that can never be exhausted.

So, let me ask you again, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? He is right beside you!!

Lord, thank YOU for the spirit of power, love and sound mind that you have given us. May all who read this blog have many blessings today and may we all walk in Your freedom and proclaim to all the world of Your great love. Jesus, Your name is Power and it's in Your Great Name that we pray....thank You for saving us.

Cherish our moments in time...


Over the last year or so I am discovering just what it means to live a joyful, full life. God really does want us to have life to the FULL!

Every single day is a SPECIAL day if it has been given to you and I realize how, in the blink of an eye, our lives can change. I remember vividly the exact day my brother was diagnosed with cancer in 2009, just like it was yesterday. In the blink of an eye, life had changed for our entire family. With each passing day, we have a choice to mend or tear, to reconcile or divide, to live or die….

Every sunrise I want to welcome with amazement from the Creator. Every opportunity I get to spend in the presence of my gracious husband I want to make enlightening. Every laugh I cherish with every beautiful friend I have will be locked away in my bank of great memories. Every moonlit night I want to stand in awe of the One in control of it all. I want to constantly think more about HIM and less about me.
I want to find joy in all I do and I want to be passionate in the way I worship our King. I want HIS Name signed at the bottom of my days.

What do you find joyful? Do you search for the fullness in life? It is something to think about….After all, HE died for that.

~Mandy~

No Such Thing....

As I am sitting here pondering on whether to write or not, I am prompted by a song: Perfect People, by Natalie Grant.

Perfect people, uh, yea, they DO NOT exist. Let's just be real here. I think for the most part, people are afraid of showing the insecurities, the flaws, the less than good qualities of themselves. I believe showing these things are the way to be relational to others. I have flaws, imperfections, insecurities, junky thinking from time to time yet the truth remains that God loves me just like this. Does He want more or better: of course, but for my good and for my protection. Does He expect perfection from me? NO WAY..... (this is freeing)

Paul states in Philippians 3:12: 'Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. '

To be made perfect or for God to be perfecting us, we have to be less than perfect in the making to becoming perfect on the day we meet Jesus. In these weaknesses, we claim HIS boldness and HIS perfection. Almost every one of us can use some improvement in our self-image. It takes time to grasp the hope for ourselves that God has for us.

I remember a time in my life that I certainly was not material you would have picked for doing the things I am doing today and the life He is allowing me to live...I am sure there were many who had given up on me at times in my life. It is so wonderful and comforting to know that when others only see our faults, God still sees our possibilities.

Knowing the Ten Commandments and going to church and trying to be "good" with some "good works" is not the same as having real victory in your life. In the middle of your imperfections, God does not have a bad attitude toward you or toward me. He loves us. He delights in us in our imperfect selves.

My advice in this is PRESS ON!!!! God meets people us right where we are in the middle of our imperfections and faults and messes. Thank God He doesn't wait for us to manage to get to Him --- HE comes to us. Will you invite HIM into your mess of imperfection and let HIM perfect you?

John 17:24-26 (MSG)
Father, I want those you gave me
To be with me, right where I am,
So they can see my glory, the splendor you gave me,
Having loved me
Long before there ever was a world.
Righteous Father, the world has never known you,
But I have known you, and these disciples know
That you sent me on this mission.
I have made your very being known to them—
Who you are and what you do—
And continue to make it known,
So that your love for me
Might be in them
Exactly as I am in them.

As I was taken to this scripture by the Lord today, I am brought to tears as my prayers are fervent for the ladies who attend our bible study on Wednesday nights....I am heavy at times and so light at times. I LOVE these women and what all God does on these Wednesday nights. It amazes me every single week to watch HIM move in their lives and mine. HE never fails of forsakes, never leaves or turns away. NEVER!!!!!

I am in awe how HE places me exactly where HE knows I need to be and among such women is so energizing to me. I love pouring out everything He reveals to me to these women and sharing our laughter, pain, and tears. This is how HE weaves us together and shows us how to be in communion with HIM.

I am passionate (as my wonderful husband says) about the Word of the Lord and want to carry HIS message and the gospel to all who have ears and hearts. At the center of my heart is discipleship through love. I am consistently thanking God for bringing people into my life to teach me, guide me, advise me, and humble me. I thank God for the people HE sends who need something from me. I absolutely LOVE people, passionately, whole-heartedly. I long to meet new people every day to show me a different way to love and live. As my beautiful niece, Carrie Grace, says,"Aunt Mandy, we have a lot of living and loving to do!!!"

So, I want to LIVE and LOVE passionately and in the fullness that Jesus Christ intended when HE died for me!!!!! Will you walk hand-in-hand with me through this life? Let's experience the fullness together, in love, all the glory going to HIM who allows that to happen!!!

Forgive to be forgiven....

The dictionary defines forgiveness as "To excuse for a fault or offense; pardon. To stop feeling anger or resentment against. To absolve from payment of." Hmmmmm......

When the Lord assigns someone in our direct pathway, I believe He has purpose for that. Have you thought that it might be for the purpose of purifying our hearts through different challenges; to prepare us for the next glory? He wants to bring us to excellence and transform us into His likeness. He is the ultimate Forgiver. This brings opportunity to be example to those around us and to bring glory to Him. We can simply work unto Him. Sounds easy enough, right??
Well, I would not personally describe it as an "easy" task but one that is well worth the effort to choose forgiveness. HE did and so should we. It is our opportunity to minister grace, mercy and prayer to those people in our path.

Forgiveness can feel unjust to our emotions because the enemy is trying to manipulate our emotions. This is exactly how the enemy keeps us in bondage. So many times, we will focus on the offense and the inflicted wound. When we cater to that thought pattern, our focus is redirected right where the enemy intended. You see, the enemy is USING the offender to control your emotions. We must not succumb to the enemy's tactics!

We must CHOOSE to pass over the offense and keep our focus on Jesus and ask HIM for help. Doing this will give us the power to protect and guard our hearts. The enemy wants to embed hurt, resentment, fear, & anger into us.

Forgiveness does not mean condoning other people's bad behavior either. It simply means we cancel the debt. Remember how merciful and forgiving the Father is? We are being made into HIS likeness when we choose to forgive. I say CHOOSE so many times because our feelings will lie to us but also will follow (sometimes quickly; some not) when we continually choose to forgive and walk in forgiveness and mercy. Only with the leading of The Spirit is this attainable.

I believe forgiveness is a daily journey. It is part of the walk as a Christian. In this, I am asking the Lord to continue to give me His eyes to view others who I perceive as offending me. It is never far from my mind just how much our Savior suffered in His death on the cross. Yet, He forgave and we can be forgiven when we ask.

If you need to forgive someone, I urge you to do it. If you need to ask for forgiveness, I urge you to do that also. Matthew 6 tells us that we will be forgiven in the manner that we forgive. Oh my! I know that I need lots of forgiveness so I better get to giving it!!

Unattended wounds actually glorify the enemy by tormenting us on the inside. This is where we make a conscious choice as to which master we will serve. Wounded people wound people. Unforgiveness is a form of disobedience, selfishness and pride. OUCH!!

I leave with a prayer that any unforgiveness be revealed to us. I confess that I have walked in unforgiveness and ask Jesus for forgiveness in this area. Lord, I intercede for anyone who I have not forgiven and ask for blessings on them and I speak healing & deliverance over them, in Jesus' name. Lord, purify and heal our hearts. We release anyone we have held captive in our bitterness to YOU and know that YOU will take this burden from us and can and will handle it a manner much better than we ever could. We believe what Your Word says about vengeance and judgement so help us to have faith in YOU and in YOUR truth. Fill us with grace and mercy, Lord.

Transparency

In Exodus 2:12, Moses hid the body of the slain Egyptian. It was exposed and in the papers the very next day. Hiding is wrong and I am convinced that from that moment on Moses was transparent. He did not hide again. He would speak his heart regardless of the vulnerability.

How can I relate to this? Oh, wow, many ways. For years, I led a "hidden" life and what turmoil and disappointment that brings. It helps you to run to things that will never satisfy. It creates and stirs longings that will never be fulfilled. God's Word tells us that what happens in the darkness HE will bring to light. Well, He definitely did this for me, maybe not in the way I would have chosen but I can say today with ALL certainty that HIS way was good and it was right. I am grateful for the enormous blessing of living in the light and out of darkness.

Living a life of transparency gives such a freedom. I believe this is exactly what we are created to be : FREE!! Free from condemnation, free from guilt, free from burdens and free from yokes of slavery. In 1 Cor. 3:17, the Word tells us that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom!! May we all be so full of HIS Spirit that we all dance a freedom dance today.

The Lord walked a very transparent life. His life should set the example of how we live out ours. He had no hidden agendas, no manipulative techniques, no underlying motives.

(ref. Chuck Swindoll) Ever been to a testimony where everyone was on Cloud 39 and you were in the Tunnel #7? People talk about soaring in the heavenlies yet you are still counting gum wrappers in the gutter? Why not hand the microphone around to people and ask, "When is the last time you took a nosedive?" "Can you share a time of great disappointment in your life?"
Stay with me here: I am far from being a negative person but I am a relational person....Can you relate to me in times of failures? In times of need? In times of hurt? In times of disappointment?

I think it would be a great encouragement to others to show how we have come through disappointments, failures, hurts, how others help to provide in our times of need. Peter did this in his letters to us. So many times in our lives, we feel like we are all alone in our struggles. That is far, far from truth. We feel like we have to hide our failures because we feel like no one could have failed as tragically as we have. Some are even afraid to tell God in fear that He would be put off by us.

Oh, friends and loved ones, He is not like that at all. He has 'inclined His ear' to hear our cries and wants us to pour out our hearts to Him. He awaits your heart. He wants you to rid yourself of shame and distress. His burden is light; yours can be also. Just as we cry out and tell Him how we have failed, His arm is outstretched to lovingly put around us with His love and forgiveness; He waits....Are you willing to give it all to Him? He accepts you as you are. There is no sweeter place of freedom to be than in the arms of the Father.

Lord, I pray for all who read this today that You would extend Your Hand of deliverance to all who need You as their Savior. I pray for hurting, wounded, disappointed people; that You would woo them to You. I ask for favor on Your people and those who have a gift to help those in need. Extend Your mercy to ones who cry to You with shame, guilt, failures; set them free in YOU. Lord, thank You for your tender mercies and sweet love in my life. Let me always be willing to share the hope I have in You and how You are my Healer and Redeemer. In Jesus name.....

My Brother, I will miss you....

Here it is, the "aftermath", the next days, whatever we will call it. You know how we gauge our lives so many times by "before_____" or "after______"? Well, I am in the after part now; after my brother saw Jesus....I can only imagine what a glorious sight that was. WOW!!!

But, I am here to tell you what all God has done and is continuing to do through this season. First of all, I recount the morning Craig called me from the hospital. I had been trying to call his phone and it was not on; I knew something was not right. You see, we have been living in the middle of his battle with cancer since 2009. He had good days and he had bad days. Since about November of 2010, he was in much visible pain. His days at the office seemed very labored and the pain was visible to us who know him but to others, he carried that cross like a true soldier. He conducted business as usual, not complaining at all. He was determined to take care of his family, no matter what. This is what God called him as HUSBAND/FATHER to be and do; and he did just that: He took care of and loved his family.
He called and I went to the hospital asap. As I walked into that ER room, I rushed over and put my arms around him and lay my head on his head. I cannot explain what God did exactly, but I will try. Grace literally fell as if raindrops were washing over me and forgiveness shocked through my body. Then I asked God exactly what my role was to be in the following days to come. All I heard from HIM was: love him and hold his hand; so, I did that to the very best of my ability. I stopped all extra activity and sat with Craig some days, some nights all night long at times. I made friends with the people that cared for him. I prayed over his room, his body, his wife, his children, our parents, his friends, and those on staff at Hendrick Medical Center.
This is something he would have wanted, I believe. Not only did I do this, we did this as a family.
As the days turned into weeks, I held steady my post of loving Craig and praying and holding his hand. The very last night he took breaths on this earth, Mom, Dad, and I had the opportunity to be in the room together, singing worship songs, crying, praying and praising our God. Then, I held his fragile face between my hands, told him we loved him and we believed he loved us too and a tear fell from his eye. A single tear that I wiped away and I turned and walked out. That was the last time I saw my precious brother breathing and then he left to dance with Jesus.
The story unfolds as to what God has been doing for me in this situation: deeper compassion. As he lay in his bed and could not move his legs by himself, I took lotion and massaged his feet gently to watch his face relax and be at ease. I laid my head on his chest at times and just said over and over I LOVE YOU. I stroked his forehead and massaged his temples and told him to be at peace. I never thought of myself as a compassionate person but God showed me otherwise. He showed me how to be compassionate in a new, deeper way. Thank YOU, Lord, for this time with my brother.
I also journaled this journey and will continue. The revelations that HE showed me in sitting still in this hospital room are amazing. He allowed me to sit in HIS lap and HE tenderly held me up and loved me as my pain was in my human eyes of watching my brother decline. God kept saying to me that this is not the end; the rough part will soon be over and you will see in a new way. I believe this as I prayed for spiritual eyes for months leading up to these moments. HE provided.
I can say with all certainty today that I do not regret one moment that God gave my brother and I in his last days here. I loved him. Plain and simple: I loved him, the best I know how and to the greatest ability I have been given.
Please understand that life has not always been this way for us. We have been through some very rough patches and God restored relationship between us with new, Godly boundaries. We allowed God to intervene with us and take us to where HE wanted to take us.
I would like to encourage anyone reading this to not take anything for granted and to ask God's guidance in your relationships. He will speak to you and guide you if you allow Him to do that.

The following is a glimpse out of a daily devotional/journal entry I receive daily. As I read this today, I am reminded that life is good! It certainly is not easy right now and it is quite painful but in the midst of the pain, God continues to woo me and to love me. He shelters us in the storm of life and I am thankful.

I am constantly showered in encouragement from friends. I am able to talk with my parents in a realistic view point and share spiritual insight. I know what the human eye is sensitive to but am so thoroughly encouraged as to what the spiritual eye is in tune to.

I pray today: Lord, I thank You for Your goodness. I thank YOU in the midst of storms of this life and I am ever aware that NOTHING separates me from YOUR love. May I be keenly aware of all the good and wonderful things You have created.





When your heart wakes up...




The sky stretches out its arms in the early inky blue of spring, stars flung here and there, twinkling lights that wink above the trees.
My husband and I light the fire pit, pull up chairs next to each other, turn on music, remember how it feels after winter is over.
These moments--I shut my eyes, draw in a deep breath--try to capture them, keep them, like little glimpses of heaven.
And I believe again...
that life is good
God is close
and I am loved
It's not that I ever forget. I think sometimes I just stop paying attention. I fall asleep at the wheel of life. I stop hearing what's true, stop seeing what really matters, stop feeling like who I really am.
Then God sends along a night knit together, woven with wind, filled with fire, and suddenly I am awake.
Oh, yes, my heart recalls.
I am made for more than the everyday.
I am fashioned for eternity.
Sometimes it seems I hold a speck of it in my hand.
Not much at all, really.
Just enough to jolt me back to joy.
And once again I'm a dreamer with her eyes wide open.

Have you lost yourself?

How can we possibly succeed at being ourselves if we don't know who we are? It is sometimes easy to get lost in the maze of life. It seems everyone wants something or expects something from us. That puts pressure on us to meet the needs of others or live up to expectations of others. Have you ever noticed how much mental energy we put into the people who are important in our lives? We often attempt to become what they want us to be. In the midst of this, we fail to discover what God wants or what His intention is for us.

Have you ever tried to be like that creative friend? Or that mild, gentle pastor's wife? Or like that patient person who never angers? Or like the cake decorator? (that's my fave) Well, I want to tell you my friend, God created YOU to be unique, like no other, and that is a beautiful thing! He made you "wonderfully" and knew who and what you would be before you were ever in the womb. Our God is THAT big and THAT awesome. As long as I was trying to be busy being someone else, I was failing at everything.

I was once (and still struggle with this) insecure. There, you all know my "secret": I am insecure! Through this insecurity, I would say YES when I really meant NO. I allowed others to control me. I am a recovering "people pleaser". I never wanted anyone to be displeased with me and certainly never wanted to be rejected by anyone. By doing this, I allowed myself to conform to others' standards and not to what God had intended for me. I remember feeling so much pressure when people would ask me to do things that I didn't want to do; when in reality, it was my own fear of rejection that was creating that pressure.

I now know that my responsibility is to be what God has created me to be. I have to succeed at being ME. I have to confer with the Spirit to lead me where HE wants me to go and what HE wants me to do. Of course there are times in life we have to do things we are not fond of and we do things because we love people; but in doing so, we are walking in love for someones benefit or welfare. This is totally different from being controlled by other people's demands on us.

1 Cor. 15:41 The sun is glorious in one way, the moon is glorious in another way, and the stars are glorious in their own [distinctive] way; for one star differs from and surpasses another in its beauty and brilliance.
We are all different. God did this on purpose!! Each of us meets a need and that's part of His overall plan. When we struggle to be like others, we not only lose ourselves; we grieve the Holy Spirit. Different is OK; different is good.

Romans 12 tells us that we are to give ourselves to our gift. In other words, we are to find what we are good at and throw ourselves into it. For those of you who know me, I literally throw myself into what I like!! I enjoy this. I now accept that God has given me gifts and I am thankful. I want to encourage you in your potential not your limitations.

Through finding differences in people, I am finding how to celebrate those differences! Through this celebration, I am finding how to accept people. We should be free to accept ourselves and others without feeling like we need to compare or condemn. It is so often we judge others out of our own insecurities instead of celebrating that they are different. Secure people know God loves them and has a plan for them and are not threatened by the abilities of others. They enjoy what other people can do and what they can do.

Comparison and condemnation are worldly, not Godly. When I stand before God, He will not ask me why I wasn't like _________(fill in the blank). I don't want to hear Him say, "Why weren't you like Mandy?" I want to hear Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant..." (Matt. 25:23) I want to be able to say to God what Jesus said to Him in John 17:4: I have glorified You here on the earth by completing what You gave me to do.

Why we need each other...

I am re posting this today. This is not my own writing but when I read it, I can SO relate. As in my pain of what all is happening in my own family, I set off for my friend's house yesterday afternoon. She welcomed me with OPEN arms and an OPEN heart. I lay on her shoulder and cried tears of pain for my family who is in pain. It sucks when we cannot FIX what needs to be well, but I believe it is a way that God says gently," You cannot replace ME nor can you do MY job."
Then after a reassuring visit to the hospital, I went to Bunco with my girlfriends. Refreshing. That's what it was. Just having hugs from friends and knowing they are praying for my family because they love.....

So, when I read this post this morning, I can relate. How about you?

Why we really do need each other...

The laughter rings like church bells around the table, calling me home. I fill a plate and slide into a seat. These faces, these women, have walked the hills and valleys with me.
We're not in a sanctuary (or are we?) but at a kitchen table. After a week of being snowed in and fighting the flu, my voice feels rusty from disuse.
We swap the usual questions, "How are you? What have you been up to?" Answers range from casual to confidential without a thought.
We are safe here.
The food on my plate slowly disappears. I find myself saying, "I feel full." And then I realize I'm not talking about the food at all.
I'm talking about my heart.
"You are the salt of the earth," said Jesus.
My world has felt a bit bland lately. Now I understand why. You see, when I struggle I sometimes do the opposite of what works best.
When Sharon left this comment on my post at (in)courage, I nodded in understanding:

I find myself asking God to help me remember the tiny moments, enjoying the detail of each one and enjoy it to the fullest. Resting in the moment and not getting over stressed about what I may see coming on the horizon. Not to sit on the couch…I am finding that the sitting on the couch is an enabler to my depression. To keep busy, focused on what matters, doesn’t give me time to wallow in self-pity and therefore I spend less time being overwhelmed and drowning in pools of depression.

When I'm hurting, I withdraw. When I do so my plate may not be as full but it sure isn't as satisfying either.
I'm learning how much I need the salt of my brothers and sisters--the salt of tears shed together, the salt of sweat when we work side by side, the salt of a smile cracked at just the right moment to make the world right again.
I need that salt even in (especially in?) my wounds.
That's how we heal.
I look up from being lost in my thoughts. My friends, these beautiful women from my church small group, have their elbows on the table, forks mid-air, sentences splitting the air with life. "Holley, aren't you going to eat the rest of your food? What are you thinking about?"
I lean across the table and smile.
Suddenly, I'm hungry for more.

Resting In Peace Now...

Peace is not the absence of problems, it is the presence of God. I can honestly tell you that I have more peace in my life today than I have ever had before. That does not mean that I have no problems or that I am free from any concerns; it simply means I am coming to know how to trust God. Trusting God in His sovereignty and trusting God that He is always looking for my best interest are two things that are becoming reality to me in my every day life. Thank YOU, Lord, for bringing me to places I never knew.

Primarily, I believe there are 3 robbers of our peace.
1. Pressures (deadlines, bills to pay, peer, etc)
2. Problems (sickness, loss of job, etc)
3. People (abuse, prodigal child, criticism, etc)

Just as sin robs you of your joy, worry robs you of your peace. For every second you spend in worry, you are robbing yourself of God's peace. When you TRULY give God your worries, He gives you His peace. The key word here is truly. We can say we do this and so many times, we allow ourselves to recapture that worry and take it back. I know all too well this to be true because so many times I do it myself.

Ways to go about having peace are found in Philippians, chapter 4.
Specifically, verse 3, Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
I know some people will say that it is easy for me to say that as I am not the one facing _____, fill in the blank. That is absolutely correct, I am not. BUT, I am not the one who says this; Paul is! Remember Paul is not free in the world here; he is in a dungeon prison, chained to a Roman soldier 24 hours a day living on bread and water, and nasty water at that, thinking every single day is his last day. He is facing a horrible death at any time and he knows this and is living with this while what? REJOICING, yes, rejoicing. I do not believe for one second this was an easy thing to do for Paul. I know it is hard to rejoice when we are facing cancer, job loss, abuse, a prodigal child....yet, Paul emphasizes the fact that we should rejoice.
I am also not implicating that we should rejoice that we have lost our job or that we are facing cancer or whatever your problem may be; I am saying that we are to rejoice IN THE LORD. He is always good even when our circumstances are not. You can always rejoice in the greatness of God, in the grace of the Lord.

Philippians 4:5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Relax. I take this meaning of near to be next to as in space, not near as in time. So to know that our Creator is always near us is more comfort than any words or instruction from any person. When others see you calm in the middle of a storm, they want to know why and how you can possibly be this way: Jesus near.

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
I have found that it is hard for me to worry when I am thanking God and praying. Every time we are confronted with a problem, a dilemma, I think it is an invitation to take it to God in prayer and for Him to grow us. It is certainly easy to thank Him in the good times but what I am going after here is that we don't necessarily thank God when things are good, we thank God because HE is good. I want to be the person who can look into the face of God and thank Him for bringing these problematic things to me, knowing I have been given the ability in Him to release them to Him because He cares for me and He has my best interest at heart. The closer I have become to the Father, the deeper and more intimate my prayer life has become. It is a time of refuge and of sweet consolation for me to be in fervent prayer. When I pray, I find it hard to worry. My cares are placed at the foot of the Cross and I am able to walk away KNOWING that I KNOW that He cares. This would be considered release. Release it to HIM.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
This is the rest that God gives us IN HIM. This is peace. Like I said before, peace is not the absence of problems, it is the presence of God.

I pray that God's peace be with each one of you today and that you seek HIM in new and deeper ways. I pray that each one who reads this will have all doubt removed that God is good. Believe me, I have problems but I have a much bigger God than any problems I could ever face. Thank YOU, Lord, that YOU are able to handle them all and that YOU will work all things to the good for those of us who believe. May you all believe in HIS goodness today. In Jesus Holy Name....

Setting Your Captives Free: Forgiveness

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. ~Ephesians 4:32~



Forgiveness is the gift we all want to receive but so often we find it hard to give. It is not easy to forgive. Yet, I believe in forgiveness is revival and freedom. When we repent, God mercifully forgives us and releases us from our debt. He did this through the high price of His Son's death on a wooden cross. We are called to forgive others because we received His forgiveness. When we are able to release our offenders, we find the key to unlock the door of our own hearts and that sets us free to experience peace and joy.



We have all been and we will all be hurt or offended at some point in life. The Word doesn't say you MIGHT suffer, it says WHEN you suffer. So, in saying that, we will never totally avoid being hurt or wronged by others. Therefore, we cannot avoid the need to forgive others. If you ask: how many times should I forgive? Matthew 18:22 says seventy times seven. We must be willing to forgive the same person time and time again. Forgiveness unlimited.



I do not believe that forgiveness equals trust, by the way. I think this is an important step in learning the forgiveness process. Forgiving someone does not mean we are to run back and ask for more. It does not mean we forget and allow the same things to happen to us time and again. Trust is a another subject (maybe a future topic?).



I think about the story of Joseph. He was a classic example of being wronged, and by his own family, of all things. Aren't we supposed to be able to rely on family? Well, that is not necessarily the case. We all know someone or it might be you personally, who has had a horrible family life. If this is you, I am so sorry. Back to Joseph, he did not look to someone to blame nor did he seek revenge. Joseph knew God was in control of his life all along and was able to see the hand of God in times of adversity as well as prosperity. He realized that the purposess of God were much greater than his personal comfort. I KNOW that suffering is not comfortable. But, like Joseph, I want to able to forgive and bless those who have mistreated me. I cannot do this on my own; it is only through the strength of Christ in me. The Word is very clear that we are forgiven AS we forgive others. I know all the wrongs in my own life and I want to receive the forgiveness God extends.



Letting the offender off YOUR hook does not mean they are off of God's hook. Forgiveness involves transferring the prisoner over to the ONE who is able and responsible for carrying out justice. It relieves us of the burden and responsibility to hold them in prison ourselves. That is freedom. Just a little something to think about: would I be willing for God to deal with me in the same way that I want to see my offender dealt with?

Be assured that if you are willing to walk into the pain, God will go there with you. Hard as it may be to forgive those who have sinned against you, you will experience great freedom as you choose to obey God, by His grace. In obedience to Him is great joy!!!

A Tidbit Into My Ongoing Life Story....

The day was April 11 of 2008 and my friend Michelle and I were at a wedding in Austin, TX. I had been single for about 8 years. The very last thing that was on my mind was meeting a man. Well, that’s exactly what happened. His name was Matt and we met the night of the ceremony and sparks flew immediately. We began talking on the phone because you see he was from Lubbock and I lived in Abilene. Then we began seeing each other on the weekends hence started a long distance relationship over the next year plus.


We talked and had what I thought was communication. We had a great relationship. I was the apple of his eye and I thought he hung the moon. We liked the same things, went the same places, and enjoyed the same foods. I had prayed that the Lord would bring a Godly man into my life and Matt talked the talk. We attended church together in Lubbock on the weekends we were there and here on the weekends we were here. We prayed for one another. He had been a member of his church since birth basically and I was strong in my own faith.
We planned our wedding that would take place in a friend’s beautiful back yard. There would be numerous family and friends attending and this was all just perfect. The yard was worked up so gorgeous and the florist had specific instruction. The cake decorator was perfect with all her drawings and details about what I wanted. The honeymoon to Vegas was a gift from his parents and both his and my parents were so very excited also.


The day came and turned out so perfect. Everything seemed to just fall into place and we were wed on June 6 of 2009. Then, it will be followed by a tragic surge of events. 2 days later, we left for our honeymoon to Vegas, freshly married and full of life. After being in Vegas for 2 days, as we went to eat, things began to turn very ugly. He looked at me across the table and said some of the most crushing words to me that I have ever heard. He cussed me and I left him sitting there as I went to the room and cried myself to sleep. Then, began a life of one bad incidence after another. He had such a critical spirit and condemned most everything in my life and the enemy was trying to plant the doubt in my mind that God had so graciously brought me out of. This man whom I was now married to became an enemy in a sense. A water spot on the sink became me being a slob and way too many things to list in our time frame. He did not like any of my friends but most importantly, he did not like worship. He condemned and put me down because of my faith. He made fun of it and wanted my God to be second to him. I felt that this entire past year had been full of lies and deceit and who does that come from: the enemy, the ultimate liar.


On August 5, 3 months into this marriage, I woke up to my precious kitty Jake trying to hang onto life by a thread. (You see, I have no children and my kitties ARE my children!) Rushing him into the 24 hour vet, he did not make it and I was told he had been kicked by what could have been as forceful as a horse. I knew in my heart what had happened to my baby and received more confirmation as his entire family said they believed he did it without my asking. This is when a certain fear began setting into my life again. I prayed, I cried out to God and I lived with someone who had totally deceived me and my family. I lived with what I consider a dangerous man.


On August 20, I took him to Lueders to a Walk to Emmaus and prayed deeply. As I came to candlelight, I witnessed a glimpse of hope in our lives and in our marriage as I looked into his eyes. He came home and apologized and wanted to start fresh and let go of some habits and behaviors.


This attitude was short-lived as the physical abuse began just 8 days later on August 31. I had a back procedure and that night after drinking too much again, he proceeded to kick me in the back and chase me out of the house as I feared my life. This same man wished people dead!!



Then, I went to my pastor and we sought counseling. We stayed in this counseling and everything sounded good when we were there and turned sour at home every time. There were no fruits being produced in his life.


The second week in December after weekly counseling and lots of talk came the second round of physical abuse as he hit me with a hanger with his daughter in the next room. This is when I told him that he had to leave. I filed for divorce and on March 3, I became divorced again. I felt the shame and the sense of failure again. I am by no means an advocate for divorce; actually I am quite the opposite. I did certainly feel like a failure again but I have learned that FEELINGS will lie but the Word of God is always TRUTH!!


When I was asked to write the Singles Talk on a Chrysalis, I was dead set against it. I have been “relationship-challenged” my entire adult life! I could only tell people what NOT to do apparently. LOL…but God, but God…
I never dreamed that God would use the time in writing the singles talk for an Emmaus Chrysalis as a huge healing experience. Through the writing and seeking and seeking and writing, God showed me some truths that I so desperately needed!! Trust me, when you cry out to Him, He hears and responds! Also, He so lovingly placed people in my life who loved me through this time. You see He places actual people in front of us who are Jesus to us. I would highly recommend letting them love on you in times of need. It is healing. It is encouraging. It is comforting. It is preparation to do the same for someone else a lot of times. Let God love on you, however He chooses. He absolutely loves YOU more than your mind can ever conceive.

Randomness....

So, in my random mind: I have a question. Am I the only person who LITERALLY thinks of bible verses and the Word to almost everything I hear and everything I say. Even in a negative content, I think about scripture that would rebuke or correct it. I listen to people and think," I'm going to go find that; it's in Ephesians or Galatians or 1 Peter...." I just wonder if I am weird like this or if this is just one of the ways God speaks to me through people.

And, on another note, this morning, I was feeling like staying in bed. I DID NOT want to get up but AGAINST all "feelings"; I got up and it is as if God carried me down the road as I left my podcast behind and just visited with HIM this morning while exercising. Guess what? My attitude is much better. That's one of the many ways He takes care of us, I believe. When we choose in obedience, against our feelings, to walk with God daily and talk with God daily, He will bless that and carry through His promises for us. Believe me, there are days it is absolutely is not on my agenda to get up, yet God says otherwise. It is as if He whispers,"Get outside, I have something for you..." Thank YOU, Father, for always taking care of me.

Finding my Niche, if you will....

Another week has started and I am finding more and more that I LOVE to speak about God and how He really is THE One and Only! When I talk to people about how He has brought me into a life of peace, it makes me so happy. I think I could literally talk for hours and hours about how He loves us enough to carry us through anything and everything....I am rambling....

So, this morning, as I was out in the cold, exercising, God gave me a revelation: why would I settle for something I, (emphasis on I) instead of waiting on what He has in store. I am not quite sure which area in life He means by that and frankly, He will reveal that on His time. Sometimes, I get wrapped up in the thinking "I hope _____ asks me to _____" and then giving that much more thought than I ought to give. This is a distraction from what God ultimately has in store for me. If He is guiding, why would I settle for what I want?
Crazy, isn't it? But, we often do that and turns out mediocre and not exactly what we expected or less than we thought it would be. This is that little rebellious, I want it done now, attitude that I tend to get. Lord, forgive me for attitudes that are not pleasing to you. Lord, take my heart and mold it to be a heart for YOU and help in all ways to acknowledge YOU in my circumstances and in my life. You are my Maker and you hold me in Your Hands. Thank You, Most Gracious Father.

Let's fast forward....to 2011

Well, it is now January, 2011!!! What a ride this has been. I guess it's called LIFE. To update you, I am now married to absolutely the most wonderful man a girl could have. Ernie is everything in a husband that I never knew possible. He is a dream come true and it was all in God's Hands!!

We are living north of Merkel in a new home. He pastors the little white church in Elm Valley and those folks are precious to us. Never dreamed that I would be a pastor's wife! God is so funny and He continually brings me out of my comfort zones!!

After the abuse didn't stop with Matt, after he killed my precious kitty, Jake, after abusing me in front of Melanie; I asked him to move out. We sought counseling from our pastor for awhile. I waited for God. I knew He was the only voice I needed to hear and He spoke. It was on a Saturday morning while I was laying in bed. It was just released. That's all but I knew because I was in constant relation with Him. On March 3, one day after my 38th birthday, I went to the courthouse (Mom, in tow) and was divorced. Again. The shame and sense of failure was certainly there. My family did not know what to say so nothing was said. Another time in my life my total reliance HAD to be on God and in God. He is always there - reach and you will find. He consistently tells me, "I am ALL you need" and I believe.

I never dreamed God would begin the healing process so quickly. When working the April walk to Emmaus with many friends, I got to know Ernie better. Something sparked and prayer happened and here we are. Well, there is alot in between but maybe that is whole other day's worth of writing.

For today, this is all. Just know that our God is Healer!!!!!!! Emotional, spiritual, physical, all of it; HE HEALS.