Cherish our moments in time...


Over the last year or so I am discovering just what it means to live a joyful, full life. God really does want us to have life to the FULL!

Every single day is a SPECIAL day if it has been given to you and I realize how, in the blink of an eye, our lives can change. I remember vividly the exact day my brother was diagnosed with cancer in 2009, just like it was yesterday. In the blink of an eye, life had changed for our entire family. With each passing day, we have a choice to mend or tear, to reconcile or divide, to live or die….

Every sunrise I want to welcome with amazement from the Creator. Every opportunity I get to spend in the presence of my gracious husband I want to make enlightening. Every laugh I cherish with every beautiful friend I have will be locked away in my bank of great memories. Every moonlit night I want to stand in awe of the One in control of it all. I want to constantly think more about HIM and less about me.
I want to find joy in all I do and I want to be passionate in the way I worship our King. I want HIS Name signed at the bottom of my days.

What do you find joyful? Do you search for the fullness in life? It is something to think about….After all, HE died for that.

~Mandy~

No Such Thing....

As I am sitting here pondering on whether to write or not, I am prompted by a song: Perfect People, by Natalie Grant.

Perfect people, uh, yea, they DO NOT exist. Let's just be real here. I think for the most part, people are afraid of showing the insecurities, the flaws, the less than good qualities of themselves. I believe showing these things are the way to be relational to others. I have flaws, imperfections, insecurities, junky thinking from time to time yet the truth remains that God loves me just like this. Does He want more or better: of course, but for my good and for my protection. Does He expect perfection from me? NO WAY..... (this is freeing)

Paul states in Philippians 3:12: 'Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. '

To be made perfect or for God to be perfecting us, we have to be less than perfect in the making to becoming perfect on the day we meet Jesus. In these weaknesses, we claim HIS boldness and HIS perfection. Almost every one of us can use some improvement in our self-image. It takes time to grasp the hope for ourselves that God has for us.

I remember a time in my life that I certainly was not material you would have picked for doing the things I am doing today and the life He is allowing me to live...I am sure there were many who had given up on me at times in my life. It is so wonderful and comforting to know that when others only see our faults, God still sees our possibilities.

Knowing the Ten Commandments and going to church and trying to be "good" with some "good works" is not the same as having real victory in your life. In the middle of your imperfections, God does not have a bad attitude toward you or toward me. He loves us. He delights in us in our imperfect selves.

My advice in this is PRESS ON!!!! God meets people us right where we are in the middle of our imperfections and faults and messes. Thank God He doesn't wait for us to manage to get to Him --- HE comes to us. Will you invite HIM into your mess of imperfection and let HIM perfect you?

John 17:24-26 (MSG)
Father, I want those you gave me
To be with me, right where I am,
So they can see my glory, the splendor you gave me,
Having loved me
Long before there ever was a world.
Righteous Father, the world has never known you,
But I have known you, and these disciples know
That you sent me on this mission.
I have made your very being known to them—
Who you are and what you do—
And continue to make it known,
So that your love for me
Might be in them
Exactly as I am in them.

As I was taken to this scripture by the Lord today, I am brought to tears as my prayers are fervent for the ladies who attend our bible study on Wednesday nights....I am heavy at times and so light at times. I LOVE these women and what all God does on these Wednesday nights. It amazes me every single week to watch HIM move in their lives and mine. HE never fails of forsakes, never leaves or turns away. NEVER!!!!!

I am in awe how HE places me exactly where HE knows I need to be and among such women is so energizing to me. I love pouring out everything He reveals to me to these women and sharing our laughter, pain, and tears. This is how HE weaves us together and shows us how to be in communion with HIM.

I am passionate (as my wonderful husband says) about the Word of the Lord and want to carry HIS message and the gospel to all who have ears and hearts. At the center of my heart is discipleship through love. I am consistently thanking God for bringing people into my life to teach me, guide me, advise me, and humble me. I thank God for the people HE sends who need something from me. I absolutely LOVE people, passionately, whole-heartedly. I long to meet new people every day to show me a different way to love and live. As my beautiful niece, Carrie Grace, says,"Aunt Mandy, we have a lot of living and loving to do!!!"

So, I want to LIVE and LOVE passionately and in the fullness that Jesus Christ intended when HE died for me!!!!! Will you walk hand-in-hand with me through this life? Let's experience the fullness together, in love, all the glory going to HIM who allows that to happen!!!

Forgive to be forgiven....

The dictionary defines forgiveness as "To excuse for a fault or offense; pardon. To stop feeling anger or resentment against. To absolve from payment of." Hmmmmm......

When the Lord assigns someone in our direct pathway, I believe He has purpose for that. Have you thought that it might be for the purpose of purifying our hearts through different challenges; to prepare us for the next glory? He wants to bring us to excellence and transform us into His likeness. He is the ultimate Forgiver. This brings opportunity to be example to those around us and to bring glory to Him. We can simply work unto Him. Sounds easy enough, right??
Well, I would not personally describe it as an "easy" task but one that is well worth the effort to choose forgiveness. HE did and so should we. It is our opportunity to minister grace, mercy and prayer to those people in our path.

Forgiveness can feel unjust to our emotions because the enemy is trying to manipulate our emotions. This is exactly how the enemy keeps us in bondage. So many times, we will focus on the offense and the inflicted wound. When we cater to that thought pattern, our focus is redirected right where the enemy intended. You see, the enemy is USING the offender to control your emotions. We must not succumb to the enemy's tactics!

We must CHOOSE to pass over the offense and keep our focus on Jesus and ask HIM for help. Doing this will give us the power to protect and guard our hearts. The enemy wants to embed hurt, resentment, fear, & anger into us.

Forgiveness does not mean condoning other people's bad behavior either. It simply means we cancel the debt. Remember how merciful and forgiving the Father is? We are being made into HIS likeness when we choose to forgive. I say CHOOSE so many times because our feelings will lie to us but also will follow (sometimes quickly; some not) when we continually choose to forgive and walk in forgiveness and mercy. Only with the leading of The Spirit is this attainable.

I believe forgiveness is a daily journey. It is part of the walk as a Christian. In this, I am asking the Lord to continue to give me His eyes to view others who I perceive as offending me. It is never far from my mind just how much our Savior suffered in His death on the cross. Yet, He forgave and we can be forgiven when we ask.

If you need to forgive someone, I urge you to do it. If you need to ask for forgiveness, I urge you to do that also. Matthew 6 tells us that we will be forgiven in the manner that we forgive. Oh my! I know that I need lots of forgiveness so I better get to giving it!!

Unattended wounds actually glorify the enemy by tormenting us on the inside. This is where we make a conscious choice as to which master we will serve. Wounded people wound people. Unforgiveness is a form of disobedience, selfishness and pride. OUCH!!

I leave with a prayer that any unforgiveness be revealed to us. I confess that I have walked in unforgiveness and ask Jesus for forgiveness in this area. Lord, I intercede for anyone who I have not forgiven and ask for blessings on them and I speak healing & deliverance over them, in Jesus' name. Lord, purify and heal our hearts. We release anyone we have held captive in our bitterness to YOU and know that YOU will take this burden from us and can and will handle it a manner much better than we ever could. We believe what Your Word says about vengeance and judgement so help us to have faith in YOU and in YOUR truth. Fill us with grace and mercy, Lord.

Transparency

In Exodus 2:12, Moses hid the body of the slain Egyptian. It was exposed and in the papers the very next day. Hiding is wrong and I am convinced that from that moment on Moses was transparent. He did not hide again. He would speak his heart regardless of the vulnerability.

How can I relate to this? Oh, wow, many ways. For years, I led a "hidden" life and what turmoil and disappointment that brings. It helps you to run to things that will never satisfy. It creates and stirs longings that will never be fulfilled. God's Word tells us that what happens in the darkness HE will bring to light. Well, He definitely did this for me, maybe not in the way I would have chosen but I can say today with ALL certainty that HIS way was good and it was right. I am grateful for the enormous blessing of living in the light and out of darkness.

Living a life of transparency gives such a freedom. I believe this is exactly what we are created to be : FREE!! Free from condemnation, free from guilt, free from burdens and free from yokes of slavery. In 1 Cor. 3:17, the Word tells us that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom!! May we all be so full of HIS Spirit that we all dance a freedom dance today.

The Lord walked a very transparent life. His life should set the example of how we live out ours. He had no hidden agendas, no manipulative techniques, no underlying motives.

(ref. Chuck Swindoll) Ever been to a testimony where everyone was on Cloud 39 and you were in the Tunnel #7? People talk about soaring in the heavenlies yet you are still counting gum wrappers in the gutter? Why not hand the microphone around to people and ask, "When is the last time you took a nosedive?" "Can you share a time of great disappointment in your life?"
Stay with me here: I am far from being a negative person but I am a relational person....Can you relate to me in times of failures? In times of need? In times of hurt? In times of disappointment?

I think it would be a great encouragement to others to show how we have come through disappointments, failures, hurts, how others help to provide in our times of need. Peter did this in his letters to us. So many times in our lives, we feel like we are all alone in our struggles. That is far, far from truth. We feel like we have to hide our failures because we feel like no one could have failed as tragically as we have. Some are even afraid to tell God in fear that He would be put off by us.

Oh, friends and loved ones, He is not like that at all. He has 'inclined His ear' to hear our cries and wants us to pour out our hearts to Him. He awaits your heart. He wants you to rid yourself of shame and distress. His burden is light; yours can be also. Just as we cry out and tell Him how we have failed, His arm is outstretched to lovingly put around us with His love and forgiveness; He waits....Are you willing to give it all to Him? He accepts you as you are. There is no sweeter place of freedom to be than in the arms of the Father.

Lord, I pray for all who read this today that You would extend Your Hand of deliverance to all who need You as their Savior. I pray for hurting, wounded, disappointed people; that You would woo them to You. I ask for favor on Your people and those who have a gift to help those in need. Extend Your mercy to ones who cry to You with shame, guilt, failures; set them free in YOU. Lord, thank You for your tender mercies and sweet love in my life. Let me always be willing to share the hope I have in You and how You are my Healer and Redeemer. In Jesus name.....

My Brother, I will miss you....

Here it is, the "aftermath", the next days, whatever we will call it. You know how we gauge our lives so many times by "before_____" or "after______"? Well, I am in the after part now; after my brother saw Jesus....I can only imagine what a glorious sight that was. WOW!!!

But, I am here to tell you what all God has done and is continuing to do through this season. First of all, I recount the morning Craig called me from the hospital. I had been trying to call his phone and it was not on; I knew something was not right. You see, we have been living in the middle of his battle with cancer since 2009. He had good days and he had bad days. Since about November of 2010, he was in much visible pain. His days at the office seemed very labored and the pain was visible to us who know him but to others, he carried that cross like a true soldier. He conducted business as usual, not complaining at all. He was determined to take care of his family, no matter what. This is what God called him as HUSBAND/FATHER to be and do; and he did just that: He took care of and loved his family.
He called and I went to the hospital asap. As I walked into that ER room, I rushed over and put my arms around him and lay my head on his head. I cannot explain what God did exactly, but I will try. Grace literally fell as if raindrops were washing over me and forgiveness shocked through my body. Then I asked God exactly what my role was to be in the following days to come. All I heard from HIM was: love him and hold his hand; so, I did that to the very best of my ability. I stopped all extra activity and sat with Craig some days, some nights all night long at times. I made friends with the people that cared for him. I prayed over his room, his body, his wife, his children, our parents, his friends, and those on staff at Hendrick Medical Center.
This is something he would have wanted, I believe. Not only did I do this, we did this as a family.
As the days turned into weeks, I held steady my post of loving Craig and praying and holding his hand. The very last night he took breaths on this earth, Mom, Dad, and I had the opportunity to be in the room together, singing worship songs, crying, praying and praising our God. Then, I held his fragile face between my hands, told him we loved him and we believed he loved us too and a tear fell from his eye. A single tear that I wiped away and I turned and walked out. That was the last time I saw my precious brother breathing and then he left to dance with Jesus.
The story unfolds as to what God has been doing for me in this situation: deeper compassion. As he lay in his bed and could not move his legs by himself, I took lotion and massaged his feet gently to watch his face relax and be at ease. I laid my head on his chest at times and just said over and over I LOVE YOU. I stroked his forehead and massaged his temples and told him to be at peace. I never thought of myself as a compassionate person but God showed me otherwise. He showed me how to be compassionate in a new, deeper way. Thank YOU, Lord, for this time with my brother.
I also journaled this journey and will continue. The revelations that HE showed me in sitting still in this hospital room are amazing. He allowed me to sit in HIS lap and HE tenderly held me up and loved me as my pain was in my human eyes of watching my brother decline. God kept saying to me that this is not the end; the rough part will soon be over and you will see in a new way. I believe this as I prayed for spiritual eyes for months leading up to these moments. HE provided.
I can say with all certainty today that I do not regret one moment that God gave my brother and I in his last days here. I loved him. Plain and simple: I loved him, the best I know how and to the greatest ability I have been given.
Please understand that life has not always been this way for us. We have been through some very rough patches and God restored relationship between us with new, Godly boundaries. We allowed God to intervene with us and take us to where HE wanted to take us.
I would like to encourage anyone reading this to not take anything for granted and to ask God's guidance in your relationships. He will speak to you and guide you if you allow Him to do that.

The following is a glimpse out of a daily devotional/journal entry I receive daily. As I read this today, I am reminded that life is good! It certainly is not easy right now and it is quite painful but in the midst of the pain, God continues to woo me and to love me. He shelters us in the storm of life and I am thankful.

I am constantly showered in encouragement from friends. I am able to talk with my parents in a realistic view point and share spiritual insight. I know what the human eye is sensitive to but am so thoroughly encouraged as to what the spiritual eye is in tune to.

I pray today: Lord, I thank You for Your goodness. I thank YOU in the midst of storms of this life and I am ever aware that NOTHING separates me from YOUR love. May I be keenly aware of all the good and wonderful things You have created.





When your heart wakes up...




The sky stretches out its arms in the early inky blue of spring, stars flung here and there, twinkling lights that wink above the trees.
My husband and I light the fire pit, pull up chairs next to each other, turn on music, remember how it feels after winter is over.
These moments--I shut my eyes, draw in a deep breath--try to capture them, keep them, like little glimpses of heaven.
And I believe again...
that life is good
God is close
and I am loved
It's not that I ever forget. I think sometimes I just stop paying attention. I fall asleep at the wheel of life. I stop hearing what's true, stop seeing what really matters, stop feeling like who I really am.
Then God sends along a night knit together, woven with wind, filled with fire, and suddenly I am awake.
Oh, yes, my heart recalls.
I am made for more than the everyday.
I am fashioned for eternity.
Sometimes it seems I hold a speck of it in my hand.
Not much at all, really.
Just enough to jolt me back to joy.
And once again I'm a dreamer with her eyes wide open.