Well, today...that is what we have right now. I am learning so many lessons through the disease of cancer and the face of physical death over the last year and a half but I have to say that God will work it to good because I believe and I love Him and I am called to His purpose.
Losing my brother last March was tough; we had a month in the hospital with him and I have witnessed many good things come from him walking into Eternity. Last week, his wife, mother of their 3 children, and my sister-in-law walked into Eternity and it is so much different; maybe the finality of them together? I can't exactly put a name to it or put a finger on it yet, but I can say it hurts. Memories of the two of them come and I smile then I cry. Shortened lives in my human view of things....I don't question God's sovereignty; I just mourn. I join many in grieving and many are joining me. I rejoice in knowing where they are and the majesty they are witnessing. I rejoice in the fact that cancer did NOT win; God does! I rejoice that there is no more pain in their bodies. I rejoice that they have 3 beautiful, intelligent children who all love the Lord. I rejoice in knowing that I will one day see them again and be joined as the great cloud of witnesses with them. I rejoice that I have wonderful friends and family who hold me up. BUT, I hurt. Plain and simple, I hurt. My heart feels ripped into pieces. Joy is not gone....just pain is mixed in. His joy is my strength and I am leaning heavily into that truth.
I really wish I had something different to write about today, but this is just the place I am in and I know God will see us through and He will heal our hurt. I know He is good and always will be. I know He has blessed me beyond words and I know that nothing can separate me from His love. I know that this suffering is short and has to be shared to also share in the glory of the Lord. I just hurt and hope if you are reading this, you will pray for me and my family.
