Have you lost yourself?

How can we possibly succeed at being ourselves if we don't know who we are? It is sometimes easy to get lost in the maze of life. It seems everyone wants something or expects something from us. That puts pressure on us to meet the needs of others or live up to expectations of others. Have you ever noticed how much mental energy we put into the people who are important in our lives? We often attempt to become what they want us to be. In the midst of this, we fail to discover what God wants or what His intention is for us.

Have you ever tried to be like that creative friend? Or that mild, gentle pastor's wife? Or like that patient person who never angers? Or like the cake decorator? (that's my fave) Well, I want to tell you my friend, God created YOU to be unique, like no other, and that is a beautiful thing! He made you "wonderfully" and knew who and what you would be before you were ever in the womb. Our God is THAT big and THAT awesome. As long as I was trying to be busy being someone else, I was failing at everything.

I was once (and still struggle with this) insecure. There, you all know my "secret": I am insecure! Through this insecurity, I would say YES when I really meant NO. I allowed others to control me. I am a recovering "people pleaser". I never wanted anyone to be displeased with me and certainly never wanted to be rejected by anyone. By doing this, I allowed myself to conform to others' standards and not to what God had intended for me. I remember feeling so much pressure when people would ask me to do things that I didn't want to do; when in reality, it was my own fear of rejection that was creating that pressure.

I now know that my responsibility is to be what God has created me to be. I have to succeed at being ME. I have to confer with the Spirit to lead me where HE wants me to go and what HE wants me to do. Of course there are times in life we have to do things we are not fond of and we do things because we love people; but in doing so, we are walking in love for someones benefit or welfare. This is totally different from being controlled by other people's demands on us.

1 Cor. 15:41 The sun is glorious in one way, the moon is glorious in another way, and the stars are glorious in their own [distinctive] way; for one star differs from and surpasses another in its beauty and brilliance.
We are all different. God did this on purpose!! Each of us meets a need and that's part of His overall plan. When we struggle to be like others, we not only lose ourselves; we grieve the Holy Spirit. Different is OK; different is good.

Romans 12 tells us that we are to give ourselves to our gift. In other words, we are to find what we are good at and throw ourselves into it. For those of you who know me, I literally throw myself into what I like!! I enjoy this. I now accept that God has given me gifts and I am thankful. I want to encourage you in your potential not your limitations.

Through finding differences in people, I am finding how to celebrate those differences! Through this celebration, I am finding how to accept people. We should be free to accept ourselves and others without feeling like we need to compare or condemn. It is so often we judge others out of our own insecurities instead of celebrating that they are different. Secure people know God loves them and has a plan for them and are not threatened by the abilities of others. They enjoy what other people can do and what they can do.

Comparison and condemnation are worldly, not Godly. When I stand before God, He will not ask me why I wasn't like _________(fill in the blank). I don't want to hear Him say, "Why weren't you like Mandy?" I want to hear Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant..." (Matt. 25:23) I want to be able to say to God what Jesus said to Him in John 17:4: I have glorified You here on the earth by completing what You gave me to do.

Why we need each other...

I am re posting this today. This is not my own writing but when I read it, I can SO relate. As in my pain of what all is happening in my own family, I set off for my friend's house yesterday afternoon. She welcomed me with OPEN arms and an OPEN heart. I lay on her shoulder and cried tears of pain for my family who is in pain. It sucks when we cannot FIX what needs to be well, but I believe it is a way that God says gently," You cannot replace ME nor can you do MY job."
Then after a reassuring visit to the hospital, I went to Bunco with my girlfriends. Refreshing. That's what it was. Just having hugs from friends and knowing they are praying for my family because they love.....

So, when I read this post this morning, I can relate. How about you?

Why we really do need each other...

The laughter rings like church bells around the table, calling me home. I fill a plate and slide into a seat. These faces, these women, have walked the hills and valleys with me.
We're not in a sanctuary (or are we?) but at a kitchen table. After a week of being snowed in and fighting the flu, my voice feels rusty from disuse.
We swap the usual questions, "How are you? What have you been up to?" Answers range from casual to confidential without a thought.
We are safe here.
The food on my plate slowly disappears. I find myself saying, "I feel full." And then I realize I'm not talking about the food at all.
I'm talking about my heart.
"You are the salt of the earth," said Jesus.
My world has felt a bit bland lately. Now I understand why. You see, when I struggle I sometimes do the opposite of what works best.
When Sharon left this comment on my post at (in)courage, I nodded in understanding:

I find myself asking God to help me remember the tiny moments, enjoying the detail of each one and enjoy it to the fullest. Resting in the moment and not getting over stressed about what I may see coming on the horizon. Not to sit on the couch…I am finding that the sitting on the couch is an enabler to my depression. To keep busy, focused on what matters, doesn’t give me time to wallow in self-pity and therefore I spend less time being overwhelmed and drowning in pools of depression.

When I'm hurting, I withdraw. When I do so my plate may not be as full but it sure isn't as satisfying either.
I'm learning how much I need the salt of my brothers and sisters--the salt of tears shed together, the salt of sweat when we work side by side, the salt of a smile cracked at just the right moment to make the world right again.
I need that salt even in (especially in?) my wounds.
That's how we heal.
I look up from being lost in my thoughts. My friends, these beautiful women from my church small group, have their elbows on the table, forks mid-air, sentences splitting the air with life. "Holley, aren't you going to eat the rest of your food? What are you thinking about?"
I lean across the table and smile.
Suddenly, I'm hungry for more.